4 pager application             Name________________________________________

 

1.   What do you find to be your most valuable skills?

 

2.   Please rank how important you think the following is to your future job?

            Organization                             Common sense

            Artistic ability                            Personal appearance

            Innate knowledge                     Professional appearance    

            Customer relations              Tolerance.

            Understanding                          Even temperedness

 

3.   You have just observed a customer on camera stuffing a movie in his pants, what action do you take?   The owner is out, you are alone.

 

4.   If you are frustrated, angy, feel bitter, etc. and it is half hour to work, you know you are not going to bae balanced, what do you do?

 

5.   It is a blizzard, your car won’t start, work is in 15 minutes what do you do?

 

6.   What job position would you like?   (You realize we can write any job position and title necessary….. peon, priveledged bootlicker, clerk, bookkeeper, salesperson, handyman, assistant manager, manager, building supervisor, accountant, espionage consultant, product enhancer, friend, Left Hand of God, gopher, gaffer, executive, consultant, head clerk, asset enhancer, Steward, overseer.)

 

7.   What words best describe yourself?

 

8.   We don’t need you, we don’t want you… Now what are you able to do or say that   will make us change this statement to We need you, we want you, we will have you among us.

 

9.   How would you like to rank your employer?

a.   God                             e.   The Anti-Christ

            b.   Next to God                 f.    The Lord of Flies and Lies

            c.   Goddless                      g.   I would never presume to judge.

            d.   Who?                           h.   I do as I am told.

 

10. Rank the following for importance of keeping your job.

a.   Increase sales.

b.   Make store look better.

c.   Increase co-worker happiness.

d.   Satisfy your employer.

e.   Show up on time.

 

11.You come to work and find the employer or manager on the phone what do you do?

a.       Stand and wait for instructions.

b.      Find a broom to sweep.

c.       Look around for a list of tasks and projects to do.

d.      Talk up the store to a customer.

 

12.       Walk around the store and come back and tell us what do you think could be done better?  And what you are prepared to do in order to do things better.

13.              Which of the following are felonies?  Misdemenours?

a.       Selling cigarettes to a minor.

b.      Telling friends that so and so, rented a gay video.

c.       Purchasing compact discs from customers without obtaining an ID.

d.      Selling a condom to a 14 year old.

e.       Letting a 16 year old into the adult room

f.        Letting a 16 year old into the pipe area.

g.       Not having merchandise priced for customers.

h.       Purchasing merchandise from someone who jokes they are hot.

i.         Purchasing merchandise with the serial number removed.

j.        Selling cigarettes to someone who hands them to someone you know is 16 in front of the counter.

 

14.You catch a coworker taking something home, without recording it, What action do you take?

 

15. Which do you feel you will need most in this job?

 

16. What are your personal addictions?

a.       I smoke and need 5 minutes every hour or so.

b.      I drink and sleep late, once a week.  (once more like 3 times!)

c.       I am addicted to sex, anywhere, anytime, with anyone.

d.      I am a bookworm, I love to read, stay up late, reading one more chapter.

e.       I am a videogame addict, I love to play till 5 am.

f.        I am a music addict, I love great music, I must collect all I can.

 

17.Are you energetic?

 

18. Your time is done, but there is still work or tasks to be done.

    1. employer should hire more people, leave at once.
    2. Stay until completed.
    3. Ask employer if task can be done tomorrow
    4. Volunteer to stay till done.
    5. Explain task to another person before leaving.

 

19.Someone calls and asks for the owner.  Your response?

 

20.Someone calls and asks do you sell dildoes there?  What is your response?

 

21. Someone calls and asks do you sell pornography there?  Your response?

 

22. Someone calls and asks for your telephone service decision maker, your response?

 

23. Someone calls and asks if you have the numbers of any hookers?

 

24. Someone calls and asks if there are any strip clubs around?

 

25. Someone calls and breathes heavily, you wanta get off? 

 

26. Someone calls up and asks “hey you know were to get some weed.”

 

27.Someone calls and asks to verify the shipping address.

 

 

Provide a ranking of your reaction to the following statements, add comments too.

 

1.   Strongly agree, this is me.                4.   Somewhate disagree

2.   Agree                                             5.   Disagree.

3.  Somewhat agree                             6.   Not me, strongly disagree.

 

  1. I like to build things.
  2. I like to create.
  3. I like being the coolest thing happening.
  4. I owe allegiance to those that pay me for my time, so I can pay my bills.
  5. I like to promote myself.
  6. I like to clean.
  7. I hate dirt.
  8. I like to organize.
  9. I can tolerate being criticized.
  10. I am bothered what people think of me.
  11. I like to fix broken things.
  12. I am mechanically inclined.
  13. I am good with stereo wiring.
  14. I know how to repair broken video tapes.
  15. I know what is hot and not, musically that is.
  16. I can handle circular saws and electric drills.
  17. I am artistically inclined.
  18. I can alphabetize for an hour without pulling my hair out.
  19. I love good music.
  20. I love a good book.
  21. I love to stay up all night playing a video game.
  22. I love to watch movies.
  23. I love to watch porn movies.
  24. I can see dirt on the floor and know it is time to clean.
  25. I hate faggots.
  26. I hate bigots.
  27. I am very religious.

 

Essay Questions.

 

  1. This store was founded to counter bias, discrimination and bigotry.  Tell us shortly of your experience with these, and how you are prepared to counter such fascist morality.
  2. We have enourmous numbers of applicants, can you tell us why we should pick you over all the rest?   We do not want mere time servers, we want dedicated persons that will give their job their full attention.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Respond to the following.   I can see that which is not seen with my eyes.   I can hear that which is not spoken.  I can feel that which is not touched.  I can taste that which is not consumed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Have you ever worked for an unlimited owner, that opened his own store before?

 

The owner states “This store, is my wife, this store is my life, this store is a hungry bitche, this store is my daughter, and she will live when I am gone.  When you endanger my store, you do not hurt my job, my prospects of advancement, you hurt me, myself for the store and myself are one, and when you hurt me, I will react in pain and I will lashe out as long as I yell at you, in pain there is hope for you, for it means I love you, even though you have hurt me.  When I grow sullen and silent, when I can no longer speak to you.  Run your time is done.

 

Your responses..